This is the story of how I created Creative Movement Meditation (CMM.) In my practice of CMM, it is a combination of Sufi breath work, improvisational dance, chakra work, yoga, and martial arts. 

I’ll cover my path with each below and then how I integrated them to create CMM.

Meditation and Breathwork

I began meditating at a very young age without instruction. I remember being about four years old and looking at the light switch on the wall before I went to sleep and focusing intently on it and everything in the room going black around it. 

This was my version of a “candle flame.”

I began exploring zen meditation when I was about 20. I found it very frustrating to sit still and focus on nothingness.

It never worked well for me. I began learning about chakras and breathwork and that made meditation so much easier for me.

In 1990, I was invited by an older extremely wise woman who went by the name Earth Star to go to a retreat at Abode of the Message, a Sufi retreat center in New Lebanon, NY.

I saved up money for the tuition for a couple of months and also had a barter work arrangement for the rest.

The plan was that I would attend the beginning session and work in the kitchen doing karma yoga the first week.

The second week was the advanced class that Earth Star was attending and I was supposed to just work in the kitchen that week.

Both weeks were taught by Pir Vilayat Inayat Khan, the head of the Sufi Order in the West.

During the first week, I attended all of his sessions, worked in the kitchen, and practiced meditation.

I was given a personal pair of wazifas by him at the end of the first week. (Wazifas are words that have strong vibration and can create energetic changes.)

Instead of working in the kitchen the second week, I was told that Pir Vilayat wanted me to videotape the second-week advanced sessions. I was honored!

I worked a lot during those two weeks in applying what I had learned in my meditation practice.

There were two things that resonated with me immediately with Sufi meditation techniques.

The first is that they are active. They involve focusing on centering, clearing, moving blockages, moving energy.

The other is that there is no focus on “escapism” into staying in a state of Samadhi.

The focus is on bringing the light from the ethereal into manifestation of the physical plane, on using that energy to bring more love and light to the here and now, and to carry that out into the world.

The symbol for Sufism is a heart with wings. That really resonated with me! I love the focus on heart-centeredness with Sufiism!

Sufiism incorporates the strengths of many of the world’s religions.

To me, this heart-centeredness is also very present in the concept of Agape in Christianity.

I have studied many religions and spiritual practices in my life.

I have taken the concepts and ideas that work for me in each one and left the dogma behind.

I do not believe that there is only one path to the divine. And I do not believe the divine is separate from us.

I believe that there is a quantum field level on which everything is connected and in reality one.

On this level, there is no physicality and no separation, only oneness. 

And I do not believe we need any “go-betweens” such as saints, ascended masters, or messiahs to connect to directly to source, the All That Is.

I even understood this as a very young child.

I learned additional chakra work in 2011 when I practiced, then taught Ananda Mandala and Chakra Dhyana.

I deepened my practice in these by undergoing training as a Oneness Blessing Giver that year.

As typical for me, it is not a path I remained on, but I took the tools that worked for me and left the rest behind. 

My path is one of integration.

Yoga

I began studying yoga with some lessons from a roommate in 1988, but I didn’t take a formal yoga class until 2010.

I did practice the poses she taught me for all the years in-between. I rarely do yoga by itself and instead incorporate it into my CMM practice.

Dance

I began ballet lessons when I was five. I loved ballet!!!! 

Unfortunately, I fractured my wrist doing a cartwheel and had to stop. But I didn’t stop dancing.

I put on records and danced in my bedroom.

My favorite album to dance to was the soundtrack to The Nutcracker and Peter and the Wolf was my favorite song to dance to!

In the ninth grade, my school started a drill team. I auditioned and was accepted.

I learned tight choreography and flag corp routines as well.

I began dance lessons again in 10th grade and took modern and tap dance.

In college, I took modern, jazz, and improv dance. 

When I took improv, I fell madly in love!!!! I felt at home!

Martial Arts

I was bullied a lot growing up. My parents decided to let me take Tae Kwon Do in seventh grade.

I loved it! I was scheduled to take the test for my yellow belt.

A few days before, a boy that had been picking on me for months was mean to me in a line in the hall.

I don’t remember what he said, but it made me mad enough to kick him.

I was aiming for his chest, but kicked him in the face instead. 

That was the end of my martial arts training as a child.

In college, I took Tai Chi as a PE course and loved it! 

I loved the fluid movement. I wasn’t as crazy about having to do the same form over and over.

I took the flow and left the form behind. 

I love martial arts movies and I drink it all in!

I rarely do straight-up martial arts alone.

I do heavily incorporate martial arts into my CMM practice, however.